Tonight

We are meeting with a college friend who is involved with the Abba fund. He has such a heart for orphans and orphan care. I feel very led to meet with him and his wife and have dinner with them. I am praying that the Lord will use this visit to give us a clearer understanding of international adoption and give us the direction He would have us go in. Greg feels led to adoption as well, but because he doesn't stalk blogs as I do, I think it is still somewhat abstract to him. I am praying this meeting tonight will give him a more concrete idea of what we are doing and get him even more excited.

My sweet baby boy

Nathan has wanted a baby brother for as long as I can remember. He has been so excited about us going to Ethiopia and getting him and brother or two or three. He came to me the other day crying with all of his birthday money. $113 in small bills. He said he wanted to give it all to me for us to fly to Ethiopia. He had looked at the paperwork and the financial breakdown and saw that a plane ticket was about $1130.

He made me cry he was so sweet and sincere about it. I explained to him that his grandparents gave him that money for his birthday and they wanted him to use it for him. He told me he didnt want anything more in the whole world than a baby brother or two or three.:)

I told him I would let him use some of his money on a gift, but I couldnt take it all and I came away with two things:

1. My son has a tender heart and I am so thankful for it.

2. We really need to work on place value beacuse he honestly thought he had enough to pay for a whole plane ticket!

Lesson of the week

Some of the ladies at church and I are doing a summer Bible Study by Beth Moore based on the Book of Esther. I have been privileged to do several of Beth's video based studies and every single one the Lord used to teach me and this particular Bible study seems to relate so well with what is going on on my life.

Last night was on chapter 5 of Esther when she has Haman and the king come to a banquet and when the King asks her what she wants, she tells them she wants them to come back tomorrow for another banquet and most of the Bible lesson was on timing and waiting on the Lord. Beth ended with a verse that was very familiar to me, Isaiah 40:31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Honestly, until last night when Beth shed new light on it, I could not think of this verse without thinking of cheesy early 1990's posters of eagles flying over the Colorado mountains that every girl in Bible college seemed to have on their wall and the matching bookmark in their Bible. I think it was the mantra verse of those looking for a husband!

Waiting to me doesn't seem very strengthening..it seems exhausting! I hate to wait on anything...anything! Our adoption journey and anyone else who has went through it will tell you it is all about waiting. Waiting on paperwork, on lawyers, on birth moms to decide, on babies to be born, on rights to be terminated.....lots and lots of waiting. Let me tell ya, it has not been very strengthening to me I feel just the opposite, winded and ready to quit. I have shed many tears cause I am tired of waiting.

My problem is, I have been waiting on the baby not on the Lord. My aha moment last night was when she said, "When we wait upon the event, not on God we lose our strength..... never in our wait is God inactive"

The verse says that they that wait on the Lord will renew their strength. I have been waiting on this precious baby I feel like God is calling us to adopt and I have been so wrapped up in the goal of adoption that I have missed the blessing and lesson of waiting on God. The expectancy of anticipation and the blessing of God's moving has been lost on me with my tunnel vision for the goal.

There have been a few broken roads and many closed doors, but the call has not changed for us to adopt. God has called us to make a difference in the life of a child. To live out the pure religion spoken of in James 1 :27. I am excited to know that He who called us to it will see us through it. I am eagerly waiting on HIM to answer our prayers and bless our home.

My secret blog

So far this blog is a secret. I think 2 other people know I have this blog. I have told lots of people that we are looking to adopt from Ethiopia and that we are excited, but I have had some feelings and issues that I am not ready to share with the world right now.

I feel like the Lord is working out the bitterness I have over some issues that are not really the fault of those I am in contact with. I think I am just not real good at communicating how important adoption is to me and I feel like that if I open myself up and let people know this passion and then they still nay say, it will be like it is directed at me not at adoption in general....make sense??

A friend of mine and I were talking about adoption this week and she said something that is exactly how I feel. She told her husband that it feels like she has a 4th child out there waiting for her to come and get him. That is how strongly she feels about adoption. ditto.

The cost thing seems to be what most people are hung up on and I know its alot, believe me, I know. Here's the thing:

A 2009 ford explorer costs approx $42,000 and last how long?? 5 years?

a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean for a family of 5 costs around $6,000 and last exactly 7 days.

A Harley Davidson fat boy used is around $15,000

Your looking at around 20 grand for a speed boat

In 2006 the average cost of a 2br timeshare was $15,000

The average family spends $3900 eating out a year

So see, people spend a ton of money on stuff and then question me for wanting to adopt an orphan because it costs money?? I'm not getting that. Maybe its because I don't want to go on a no money down- apr financing- put me in debt for years to come kinda easy payment plan.

The video that inspired us to Ethiopia

All God's Children picnic in Kernersville, NC

Even though we are only in the beginning stages of adopting, when we filled out our preapp with AGCI they called and invited us to come to one of their summer picnics. Apparently, they only have about 6 of these each summer all over the country and one happened to be 10 mim. down the road from us! We had such a good time! The kids had a blast on the bouncy houses and Esther met a new friend, Caroline, that lives close to us. We also was able to meet Doug Frazier of AGCI and talked to him some about the Ethiopia program and also about mission trips.