So here is how my day goes...I wake up around 1 am and pray to around 3am..no alarm, I just wake up, count 7 hours ahead and know the judge is up and working. Then I fall back asleep until around 5am when I wake up again and get up. Do my quiet time and pray. Then I try to go about some normal routine with my phone in my hand and my heart in my throat. The poor girl assigned to communicate with me at AW should call by 9:30 or 10:00. So from about 9:15 until 10:00..I really am a bundle of crazy nerves.
BY 10am..I know. IT hasn't happened. No phone call means no passing court. Then by 10:30, I get the dreaded "not today, but soon very soon, maybe even tomorrow" email. This has happened for 2 weeks and 2 days.
I have run the gambit of emotions in dealing with this particular "bump". Everything. From anger to despair to checking flights in order to meet the judge one morning in her office for a little meeting..My will, my time table, my way has been utterly broken.
But... I am blessed. So blessed. Faithful friends who text, facebook and email me daily. Who listen to me whine and wail. My sweet homeschool five in a row family have set up a schedule again today. 12 moms have stepped up to take different hours and stand in the gap and pray my children home. I am reminded of who loves us, of our support system and I am broken, but oh so blessed
.....but aren't we all?
Awww, I love you and am praying!!! XOXO
ReplyDeleteWe are a family who has gone before you with AW but are rarely on the yg. We have been through big court issues ourselves and know the frustration. Just know that we are praying for you all, for MOWA and your children while you wait.
ReplyDeleteI canNot imagine!! Sorry that you have to be going through this, but don't lose hope - it has to be SOON!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Jackie! My heart just breaks for you and your family. Knowing that God's ways are higher than our ways is so much easier to grasp in our minds, and not always so easy to wrestle with in our hearts. UGH! I know that I know you WILL pass court SOON! I just feel it! I am reading, "You're Late Again, Lord!" It says "we don't have to wait patiently when we learn to wait purposefully" ~ and our purpose is to draw near to Him in the waiting. You are doing that. Your grateful heart shows that. Hang in there, my friend. We WILL be celebrating with you SOON! This week! I am believing this is your week! *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteWe should all see it as a privilege to be a small part in praying each other's children home. It is so great to serve a God who knows are needs before we ask--He has not forgotten about you or your little ones that aren't home yet. Keep clinging to Him....He is the Author and Perfecter of your faith!!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness :( I am soo sorry. How frustrating to have the letter done, but just not given the official "pass". We had friends who waited 3 weeks for a judge to pass. Hopefully your end will come soon. There are no words that can help, but know that we are grieving with you and for you to God!
ReplyDeleteDon't give up. Things will be alright!
ReplyDeleteWe are in the midst of our second adoption. We have not been waiting as long as you have to pass court but we are waiting. So much of what you have described is exactly what I have been walking through. I will be praying that you hear that you have officially passed!!
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