I have felt like adoption has been picked on quite a bit in the past couple of weeks and this has made me have to deal with an emotion/sin that I am not real acquainted with...bitterness. I am usually one that tries to let things roll off my back, but as I continue this adoption journey and as we go deeper into it...the attacks become more personal.
About a week ago Pat Robertson displayed once again why he should not be allowed to broadcast on tv with some very disparaging comments on adoption. This has fired upa large percentage of the adoption community. I am not one to leave comments on tv show web sites, but my comments joins hundreds more in outrage of his insensitivity.
I also heard forth hand ( and let me just say I try not let comments relayed 4th hand bother me) that there were a few choice church members that didn't think a one income pastor's family with three children already should be adopting. This was the first negative comment that I have heard from anyone ( family, church or friends) The majority of people I know and love have either been totally supportive or respectfully quiet on the matter. Still, it hurt to know there are those (I don't even know who!) that think this is a mistake. It hurts because its personal to me now..it is not just the concept of adoption anymore. It's my baby we are talking about. Which leads me to...
Baby Showers. It has been mentioned to me more than once that," so and so thinks we ought to have a baby shower for you, but I figured we better just wait and see if this thing falls through or not. I know there was no harm in that statement, but would you say to a 6 month pregnant women, " we were gonna throw you a shower but thought we'd wait and see if you have a late miscarriage or stillborn?" I know it is not the same, but from this seat..it kinda feels the same..ya know?
There is a Sarah Groves songs called Tornado that has a phrase," I will not let this bitter root grow in me. I will not let you leave a legacy." I am trying. I can dwell on the small negatives or I can focus on the amazing blessings and how I have watched the hand of God move in our lives the past 6 months we have been on this journey. I will chose the latter.
This verse has been a blessing to me and if you are struggling with bitterness over a situation beyond your control right now, hopefully it will help you to.
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:
Crummy - it is really unfortunate that some feel it is appropriate to comment on the appropriateness of adopting while living on one modest income. If a family can maintain mortgage and bill payments responsibly, then go for it! That kind of scrutiny is so difficult. Hoping that your prayer for grace (both the feeling of God's grace, and the giving of grace to others, even when it is not easy) is answered swiftly and strongly! (Oh, and baby showers - adoptive parents should definitely not be treated differently than bio parents...I tend to lean toward the post-birth/adoption shower for both scenarios, but maybe I'm just being old school). Hope when your turn for a shower comes, it is a joyful and memorable experience!
ReplyDeleteI applaud what you're doing--and how is it any different than families who choose to have many biological children? Would they give one back if they had a "modest" income? It's absurd. These children need parents and homes and people who love them (and yours will already have siblings!). Those comments would bother me too, but God will bless you for doing what He is clearly leading you to do. Also, can you imagine what the impact could be if more pastors adopted?? I think it would be awesome. :-)
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