Thursday, June 30, 2011

Adjustments

This blogpost is actually a plea for advice! Please comment here or on FB if you have any advice.

Waiting for the kids to come home I spent so much time reading, planning and seeking advice on how to make Micah coming into our family as easy as possible. We have had a really easy adjustment with him (so far) and I am very thankful for that. I really only thought of Sarah Faith as a baby to love and take care of. I have had three babies before..no problem, right?

Wrong.

For one she was afraid of every piece of baby equipment we have, except the bumbo seat because they have those in the TH. I have gradually worked her into the swing, playpen and exersaucer with 10 min increments daily. This morning she played in her playpen happy for 20 min. She still prefers me, but is getting better daily at being in the floor or swinging.

My issues now are with sleep. Naps, she wakes up 30 min in terrified. Screaming with huge tears rolling down her face. All I have to do is rub her back or head and she will fall asleep again, only to repeat this 30 min later. Her favorite way to sleep is on my chest with both of my arms wrapped tight around her.. so she cant hardly move. Her whole body will relax and she will fall asleep right away as long as I lay and hold her like that.

Night time is the same way. She sleeps about 4 hours ...8:00pm- midnight and then is into a 30 min crying out pattern the rest of the night.

Has anyone else had this problem? Tips on helping her get through it? How long will this last approximately? Any online articles I could research? I am sure there are but my sleep deprived brain isnt having a whole lot of luck researching this!
thanks.....
Jackie

** I wanted to add that it isnt that I mind holding her and rocking her! I LOVE doing that ( although I would enjoy a little more sleep at night). I waited 3 years for a baby to love on and I am enjoying it SOOOO MUCH! I am just trying to help her not be so afraid and terrified when she does wake up.**

10 comments:

  1. Hi Jackie! Oh how I wish I could give you some love right now. I hear your momma's crying heart throughout this post. Have you chatted at all with Tara Mowen? http://mowensjourney.blogspot.com/
    It sounds as if they have had some of the same issues with their Jacob, and are now starting to turn a corner with his night terrors.
    Have you ever tried wearing her carrier or sling? That might still allow you to get things done if she doesn't like to be away from you....?
    Truly wanting to give you a huge hug!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It may just be an adjustment period. Even kids that small know when things are different. She has so much more to explore that she isn't used to having. She may be overwhelmed by it, overstimulated, or even over-tired from waking so much, that she can't sleep well. She will have to find a new sense of security and seems to really have that with you. I have not adopted, but my baby was in the NICU and when we brought her home, we went through things similar to what you're describing--not napping or sleeping well at night--possibly for the same reason, though we had no clue then. Praying for the family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This sounds very similar to Lindsey when we brought her home. We moved her packnplay in our room for sleep so I could grab her quickly before waking anyone else up. She only stopped if I walked her...I walked for months with her at night--not very encouraging, but I did lose weight! :) I think it just takes time and each child is different. I would totally go with your momma instincts as far as when/if to let her cry it out. (We did that eventually.) hang in there..sleep deprivation can make one feel like they are going crazy!!! I really think this will pass..just push through.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have no experience in your exact case, but I think I'd go for babywearing and/or co-sleeping. This seems like the prime example where it would give Sarah Faith the security she's needing. Micah has the smarts to try to understand what's going on. Sarah Faith has just had her world rocked (in a great way!)and has no capacity to understand why.
    Melissa C from FIAR boards (It won't let me comment if I sign in)
    I'll pray for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Have you considered swaddling her? If she likes the comfort of you holding her tight would swaddling her tightly in a blankie help? Does she sleep in your room? She might need gradual adjustment and being next to you and knowing your near-by might help for starters. Can you obtain a heartbeat teddy bear? Tightly swaddled and a teddy that can play the sound of a heartbeat might make her feel as though you are right there. I'll also confess that I slept with one of my kids blankets for the last month or more of my pregnancy. Then I used that blanket for them and kept another with me so that when one had to be washed they had another. That whole "I smell mamma comfort" thing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Here's a couple thoughts that ran through my mind:
    Is she truly afraid (you know, screaming "that" scream? If so, she could be having nightmares.

    Also, I've heard of babies (especially the happy, smiley babies) experiencing this when they are overstimulated during the day. They appear to be happy and loving life during all of the hustle and bustle of their new lives, but it catches up to them when their bodies finally relax.

    Finally, I've heard of nannies telling AP's that some babies get too hungry in the morning before breakfast, so they wake those ones up in the middle of the night to give them a bottle (so that they won't be screaming bloody murder from the time they wake up to the time breakfast is served) Could this be a possibility? Other AP's who have run into this problem re-arrange the evening schedule and have dinner a bit earlier and then a bottle/snack right before bedtime and that seems to help (although, breaking them of the wakeup pattern might be hard, it is much easier if they have a full tummy)

    Hope this helps! We're still waiting for our referral, but I took those notes from "issues" that have been blogged about from other moms.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ps....one of the blogs that talks about this issue is:
    http://madinefamily.blogspot.com/
    I'm not sure what the other one is a somewhat big blog that I found on ehtiopianadoptionblogs.blogspot.com
    If I remember it, I'll come back and let you know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Alison LuellwitzJuly 2, 2011 at 4:47 AM

    OH Jackie, I feel for you! For night time we put a twin mattress next to Moses' crib when we first brought him home. We took turns sleeping in the room with him and when he needed a pat on the back during the night we were right there. Once he started only waking twice a night Sean and I moved the mattress out and started sleeping in our room together again--was about 3-4 weeks after Moses came home. Don't know if you're already in there with her or not, but it was helpful for us.
    Also, initially Moses would wake about 2-3 hours after being put to bed screaming bloody murder--didn't want us to hold him and was only comforted by a bottle. Sometimes this would occur more than once in a night. It was so sad, but we just shoved bottles at him and though he woke up soaking wet :) we could get him back to sleep again. He no longer needs a bottle at night and maybe only needs a pat on the back twice a week....point being...things got better!!!--a lot better at about 4-5 weeks!!!
    For the first month or so we weren't worried about anything but getting him some sleep and making sure he was comfortable...we didn't worry about forming "bad habits" we just wanted to get through the transition. I have no idea why he screamed bloody murder and didn't want us to hold him---oh that broke my heart--but I don't think it was night terrors. We also put a night light in there..don't know if you already have one. Will pray for SF's little heart and for strength for her loving mama who she doesn't want to let out of her grasp!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ok, I found that other blog! Here it is: http://ouremptychair.blogspot.com/2011/06/taking-one-giant-step-back.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Okay, this is my first time visiting your blog, but had to comment as this is very similar to our experiences. And, looking back, I realize it was all due to the transition. Our baby girl was just not used to us or her room or anything. She was scared silly of any stuffed animal and she also woke screaming after 30 minutes. It really just took time for her to get used to us and to trust us. Each week was better and better. It took a good 4 weeks before she slept through the night. So anything you can do to encourage her trust in you and to help her become more used to her new home and bed. I made our baby a picture book with pictures of her nannies and crib-mates for her to keep in her crib.
    It is also so important to take turns at night. A good nights sleep does wonders for a worn out mommy. Hope this helps!
    -Kate

    ReplyDelete

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed